Rootless

She had woken in a loveless society that admired nothing more than its own reflection. She had commuted dank streets for years, with her coat collar tucked protectively in the crook of her neck; masking the putrid breaths of strangers, their voices ripe with pessimism. She had died savagely at the hands of stony scavengers, in their quest for food. But, she had drawn her last breath with a smile; having observed a set of doors that had opened into a new and fragrant society.

April finished reading the last paragraph of her manuscript, placed it on the kitchen table, and looked at her Mother, who was standing at the kitchen sink, daydreaming into the garden.

“What do you think, Mother?” She asked, rotating her thumbs in her sweaty clasped hands.

Her Mother turned to face her. “I’m left wondering what the new and fragrant society was like.”

April grabbed a pen. “Then I shall write on, for you, Mother.” She spoke the words of her story as she wrote; her fingers dancing eloquently across the page.

She had woken in glorious sunlight with a diamante heart encrusted on her brow. A stranger had greeted her with open hands; had given her his maps, his compass, his lifelong supply of food, his honest smile. And on her journey of life, she had looked to the psychedelic colours of the skies; had glimpsed the wings of eternity. And all the while, she had smiled, loved, and had thanked the universe.

@alittlebirdtweets2015

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93 thoughts on “Rootless

  1. I am reminded of More’s Utopia which I read many years past. Kevin

  2. You paint a pretty picture…Well done.

  3. Adhithi says:

    Beautiful. I was in a haze a while after reading this post.
    Also, thanks for dropping by chatterboxerr.

  4. Browsing in WP Reader and this is where I pause to enjoy these delightful words.

  5. Kurt Struble says:

    great! i love the juxtopsition between negative and positive … yin and yang … darkness and light … it’s my favorite theme … thanks ks

  6. The universe. Our free lunch. Thank you. 🙂

  7. Rohan says:

    Your fingers dance eloquently across the page!

  8. Kurt Struble says:

    i liked it again … ! ks

  9. jannatwrites says:

    I like the new society, and the contrast between the loveless one. How fun, to create alternate worlds like that 🙂

    • Thank you, Janna 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed. This story began as a prompt, that was given to me by a friend ‘love yourself first’. Somehow the new society sprang from that idea. Thank you so much for your comment 🙂

  10. naturelover says:

    Thank you for liking my post and thank you for following me. I am an aspiring writer and loves to read flash fiction.

    I hope that I’ll learn a lot from you:)

    Regards

  11. araneus1 says:

    mums…. they can be the softest critics and the biggest wonderers…..
    Terry

  12. Joseph Pinto says:

    Your prose makes me swoon…well done xo

  13. Great posting, as I will follow your progress.

  14. When we see in mirror we see a blueprintof ourselves created by society. 😐

    • Most definitely. I believe that society plays its part in moulding us…I think it’s important to be able to escape in dreams, books, films…just to taste a workd veyond our own 🙂

  15. Inkposts says:

    Is it okay if I re-blog this at some point?

  16. Fantastic and very poetic in its movement. Glad to have read it,and appreciating you stopping by Icameforthesoup and giving it a follow. cheers!

  17. Kate Loveton says:

    This is an example of lovely writing!

  18. mrheslop says:

    A very well-rounded flash fiction, with plot twists and characterisations and everything!

  19. 7128788elf says:

    Wonderful, very well constructed, and well balanced, and reads very well, a whole universe in just a few prose lines remarkable. Am looking forward to reading others, and thanks for liking the poems on my blog. Best wishes and blessings, Charles.

  20. Creatopath says:

    I loved your story. You have a way with words.

  21. J Rose says:

    I like the way you twist the reader’s perception by putting writing within your own writing – twice- really clever!

  22. JL0073 says:

    Great imagery and beautifully written. I like when stories step back from the narrativeand then delve right in again. It’s very tastefully done here.

    • Thank you so much. When I started writing this, I was torn between both realities, so had to think of a means to incorporate them both equally. Thanks again for your kind comment on this piece…truly appreciated.

  23. AnElephant is now very impressed.
    You are creative and imaginative, and your writing is superb.

  24. Then AnElephant is delighted.
    If he makes alittlebird happy then his day is not wasted.
    And his comments are most sincere, he finds you talented indeed.

  25. any1mark66 says:

    Nice read. I love the story within the story. Darkness always draws interest when played against light,

    • Thank you for your kind comment, much appreciated. Yes, I love playing with the dark and light. One of my favourite quotes is from the film ‘Vanilla Sky’, and it goes ‘the sweet isn’t as sweet without the sour’, which always inspires my work. Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂

  26. akleneth says:

    Very beautifully written! The flow of the words and sentences just makes you want to keep on reading! And you paint a picture with your words.

  27. Paul Taylor says:

    Beautiful. I love the site as well. Very nice layout. Thanks for the follow. I wouldn’t have found your writing otherwise.

  28. Aquileana says:

    Beautifully penned…. the last lines truly resonated with me!.
    Best wishes. Aquileana ⭐

  29. Love the post. Had to look up “diamante”, you meant what I thought. But I also saw something in the search about diamente poems. Now I’ll have to try writing some of those!

    • Hi Connie. Thanks for reading Rootless, much appreciated. Diamante is a beautiful sounding word isn’t it 🙂 I have never stumbled across diamente…but now I am intrigued 🙂

  30. ceayr says:

    Dystopia or Utopia?
    Thought provoking piece.
    I guess that for many people it varies on an almost daily basis.

    • Thank you. Now there is a question! When I wrote the story, I didn’t have utopian or dystopian in mind at all. I just knew that I wanted to have a contrast of dark and light, different worlds etc. I always work around the horror and thriller as my main genres…but I suppose sometimes others seep in to the works 🙂

  31. That was just fantastic. I find nothing more rewarding as a writer than having someone read your work and want more or want to know what happens next.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂 I do love pieces that leave you wanting more…I think it gives the reader room to use their own imagination of how a story or a moment is likely to progress. In a sense it is making a writer out of the reader in a sense. Have a lovely weekend…and thank you again for reading 🙂

  32. Chris AM says:

    Wow, this is beautiful. And your whole blog too! Amazing!

  33. You’re writing gleams with poetry.

  34. mrheslop says:

    This is good enough that I wish it was longer, and therefore able to blend the lines between fiction and reality more often. It’s a lovely little prose poem, which at times reads like a myth.

  35. The Extremist Chronicles says:

    I came across your blog and couldn’t stop reading your work! Absolute admiration for it! I would appreciate someone like you reading some of my work and giving me feedback especially since I’ve gotten into blogging after after a long hiatus 🙂
    -R

    • Hi R. Thank you so much for reading my work and your kind feedback, it’s made my day 🙂 I certainly don’t mind giving you some feedback…is there a particular piece you’d like me to critique? Let me know and I’ll give it a read. Best Wishes. Donna

  36. I find this piece both lovely and haunting. I really love your word choice. It adds something to the story that might not be there otherwise.

  37. I really love the language in this piece. Overall, I find it beautiful and haunting. The word choice definitely adds something that might not come through otherwise.

    • Thank you, Amanda 🙂 I’m delighted that you have commented on my word choice; as sometimes, as a writer, you never truly know if you have chosen the right word for the emotion. When I used to go to a writing group, it was amazing how people redponded differently to words in written works. Thanks so much for your kind commented. Donna

  38. pandascripts says:

    I love the format of a story within a story. I was intrigued to find that the story was about a young writer obviously trying to please her mother. Also I feel like details make a story enjoyable. I was really able to feel the story around me as if i were there. That in itself is art.

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so glad you felt this way about the story…you never truly know what the reader will think, so it’s always interesting to have feedback however good or bad. I look forward to following your blog posts. Have a great day! Donna

  39. gspottedpen says:

    I love the amazing ending, though I am a pessimist it elevated my mind to dizzying heights of euphoric, eudemonistic, utopia. This Anand Bose from Kerala.

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