Tag Archives: Writing

Anna

It’s four in the morning, and I’m sat in this room of gloom, eyeing pictures of you, of us. The rain clouts against my window, violent yet so soothing. I stroll to the door with my head tilted like a broken doll because I sense you standing in the hallway. The door creaks open, and there you are my love, with those dark eyes of yours; the ones I fell into. I run to you but you run from me, and I can only scream, urge you to return, but you are gone. Then I remember that time has slipped by; almost a year has passed. The panic subsides, yet the pain lingers on. Your voice calls from outside and I wander towards the lake, where I sense you. The front door of the house bashes in the wind, and I leave it behind, allowing silence to envelope me as I walk. And again I remember that time has slipped by; almost a year has passed. I’m at the edge of the lake but you are not here. Where are you? Don’t you want to exchange conversation with me? Don’t you remember us laughing that night, when the sun melted into the sky? Don’t you miss me? I sink to the ground, and my heart can take no more. He played games with the one that loved him. I slide into the water. The coolness soothes my soul, my mind; and slowly I sink into darkness, and I am gone.

©2012.alittlebirdtweets

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Lovable Beast

From the corner of my eye, from the softness of my pillow, I see him sleeping; his mouth is ajar, silently breathing in dust motes that float erratically above the quilt. He looks peaceful, beautiful, somewhat angelic, in slumber; a wonderful contrast to the lovable beast that inhabits him, in consciousness. He opens his eyes; did he sense me looking at him, I wonder? Does he know I look at him this way every morning, and think such things? He smiles at me; the creases of middle-age have formed in the corners of his lips, the lips I would kiss, every morning, adoringly and without hesitance. We pillow-talk, reflect on our past, until the dust motes settle. We speak of our families, our friends and of our two beautiful teenage children – but our conversation always fails to lead to the one, difficult-to-ask, forever-grinding, question, Why have you been cheating on me?

©2012.alittlebirdtweets

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Little Waxy’s

The aroma of dim sum penetrates the streets of Soho; arrow neon lights point to seedy downstairs basements, offering the lonesome fellow an offer of three-for-two on adult magazines and videos; and Margot watches the world pass by, teary-eyed, from behind a café window. She glimpses her tired reflection, and thinks, Who am I? How did I become this person I despise? Will I ever escape the tangle of this dark underworld?

She is broken from her thoughts and reflection by her mobile vibrating wildly, next to her half-finished latte; she checks the caller ID and answers.

‘Kelly?’

‘Hey Margot, I’m sorry for such short notice, but we had a call from Fi this afternoon; she’s had to cancel tonight. Are you able to cover?’

‘Yes. Sure, Kelly. No problem.’

‘Great. I’ll see you at eight? Oh, and Margot, bring some silver-sequin nipple pasties; it’s tonight’s dance theme. The men can’t get enough of them!’ She beams.

After their goodbyes, Margot turns back to the window to face her reflection. Who am I? She thinks. How did I become this person I despise? Will I ever escape the tangle of this dark underworld? Maybe one day, I’ll find the courage to pack my bags, wave down the nearest black cab, and leave this place; but for now, I need to earn; it’s all about the money, isn’t it always? She finishes the last dregs of her latte, gets up, and exits the café.

©2012.alittlebirdtweets.

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Anonymous Caller

‘Hello? Who the hell is this? Will you please stop calling me?’

Heavy breathing penetrates the phone receiver, whilst keyboard taps meld with sounds of spittle. Then silence.

Marian’s heart thumps; she drops the receiver, flees the house, stands in the road and stares witlessly at every unlit window surrounding her.

In an apartment, ten blocks away, he hangs up and types.

Dear Marian, the docile tones of your voice inject me with virtuous energy. I know it upsets you when I don’t speak; but knowing you’ll reject me again leaves me with unwelcome dread. I can offer only silence.’

©2012.alittlebirdtweets.

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A Love Song

From a bird’s-eye view, through an open roof, you’ll glimpse me alone; strumming a guitar, in the attic of a house, in a tired seaside town. I scribble lyrics to melodies; sing to backing tracks of seagulls’ cries; they perfectly mimic the beats of my disjointed heart; the one you nurtured, tasted, threw out to sea.

     #Ships they sail away,

The lovers disappear,

     They hold on to nothing,

We hold on to fear#

Notepapers escape my hands, as they‘re lifted up to the skies by the salty-air breeze; and I wonder if the Universe will ever hear my love song.

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Little Doll

You were Isobel Isaac to the world; to me, you were Little Doll. Your enchanting smile would leave paparazzi hypnotised at the lens; they failed to detect the cracks in your face; the heavily overworked Maybelline eyes, that were merely a make-up-of-the-season disguise for the early morning Napoleon brandy drinking sessions, we so often spent.

©2012.alittlebirdtweets

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Jesse

Jesse, tonight the light on the stairs fails to illuminate my presence. My milky body is enveloped in a torn chiffon chemise; that no married woman would ever dare wear. But you don’t see me, do you? I see a bed with a hole where I once laid; a telephone that no longer rings for me; a wedding photograph that is fading in time; don’t you see the days sunlight bleaching us? I guess life was so much more intricately woven for me, than it was for you.

©2012.alittlebirdtweets

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Lady of Darkness

‘The artist had depicted Eloise’s portrait a thousand times, but none had seized her essence quite as beautifully as the ‘Lady of Darkness’, dated 1949. The artist would repeatedly draw, paint, erase and collage; reworking the image in his desire to capture her myriad of emotions. This overworked process not only reflected his obsessive-compulsive nature, but also the subjects’ taunted, troubled mind. Heavily applied pencil marks portray her self-inflicted facial scars, with loving precision. She is encapsulated by an abundance of charcoal; reflective of the depressive world in which she existed. A bandage appears to adorn her forehead; but it is merely the result of overworked paper that became abraded and torn which required patching. Now, before we move on to the next piece, does anyone have any questions?’

‘How did Eloise die?’

‘She committed suicide. In his memoirs, the artist describes Eloise of having been infatuated with him; a desire he could never nurture.’

©2012.alittlebirdtweets

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Lydia

Lydia, as I sit in our garden, I am reminded of you. The orange-blossom scent of the tree, the one you planted two years ago, does so echo the deceitful musky fragrance of your skin. I wonder if the roots have consumed your ashes, and if your scent has been carried up through the branches to be radiated out through the buds. The thought of your scent fusing with the Spring oxygen, leaves me sickly. Tomorrow, at dawn, I shall chop the tree; that once was a symbol of our love. John.

©2012.alittlebirdtweets.

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